Eight Is Not Enough

In the aftermath of California voters barely passing Prop. 8, which shot down gay marriage, many of the pundits seemed to dwell on one fact: nearly 70% of Black voters in the state voted for the proposition.

My first thought was disappointment that so many of my own people pulled the lever against a right I, and other LGBT people, should have had in the first place.

But in all the sniping from some White gay leaders who were infuriated that one minority group couldn’t understand the perspective of another minority group, and with all the grousing from some Black gay leaders that there are bigger priorities in life than marriage, there’s a lesson lost.

We’re not communicating with and reaching out to each other before crucial decisions are made. And as a vote from the DC City Council on gay marriage will be coming up in early 2009 in a city that is 60% Black, we need to do this like yesterday.

First, the Black vote fixation was myopic. Apparently, some people didn’t realize that upward of 80% of Republicans, conservatives, white evangelicals, and weekly churchgoers also voted yes on Prop. 8. The initiative would have passed, albeit barely, even if not a single African-American had shown up at the polls. Besides, Mormons pumped $20 million into the “Yes on 8” campaign, so it’s safer to say they really tipped the scales.

The morning-after chattering confirmed that a crucial problem was messaging and outreach. Apparently, the African-American outreach from mostly white gay groups was sorely lacking. There were a couple of town hall meetings in the state and an urging of the NAACP to issue a press release. Uh, that’s it?

Imagine if you had large numbers of LGBT campaign organizers approaching churches, community centers, civil rights groups, nonproifts, colleges, and local leaders to discuss the benefits and importance of gay marriage and to offer to hear out and dispel myths and worries. Imagine if you had a series of town hall meetings in which gays of all races and ethnicities discussed in detail the discrimination they faced in health care, employment, education, and the like. Imagine a scene where Black gay couples with children discussed the legal hurdles and challenges to their parental rights to various audiences (Remember there are still states, like Florida, Utah, and Arkansas, where gay adoption is illegal.)

A good friend in L.A. who has marched in protests in the aftermath of the election believes this idea is rather naïve. In his mind, there is nothing anyone can say or do to persuade a homophobe, particularly a Bible-thumping one. I’m not so sure. You can never convert everyone. Some conservatives will never, ever believe global warming exists, for example. But putting a human face on an issue can change some hearts. It’s not so easy to condemn neighbors, metaphorically and literally, who live, work, eat, and go to school just like you. (Besides, if Americans gave up on an idea because it would be met with some resistance, we wouldn’t have declared independence from England or created the Civil Rights movement).

But my friend did bring up a good point. In general, there are relatively few out, prominent people in the Black communities, whether they are in entertainment, business, politics, or sports. We don’t have our own Elton John, perhaps because fear of backlash and rejection have allowed timidity to govern, instead of courage.

When comedian Wanda Sykes publicly came out after the election and declared she had a wife and she was angry about Prop. 8 setting us back, I was proud and pleased. But quickly, I also thought, “Where the hell was she before Nov. 4?” Wouldn’t it have been great is Sykes and other celebrities also went around to stump against Prop. 8. And what about high-profile Black heterosexuals who are gay-friendly providing a voice? On that front, things were eerily quiet, and that’s a shame. And I think it cost us.

So there’s some blame to go around. But the key is there was little dialogue between communities on the campaign trail. People were either suspicious of the other or took things for granted. Now that D.C. will be in the middle of a national debate on gay marriage soon, we should be in a position to do things differently and set a better example.

I read this week in the Washington Blade that some DC gay leaders were looking to connect with Black groups and leaders, straight and gay, to help elicit support for gay marriage if it goes to a referendum vote like in California. They’d better do it fast. Prop. 8 was a wake-up call, and we can’t be caught sleeping at the wheel.