Wednesday, February 4, 2009

A May-December Affair To Remember

The rising politician gets felled by sex scandal when his affair with a young intern comes to light and makes headlines, followed by calls for his resignation.

No, you’re not in caught in one of those Lost time warps, landing back in 1998 to watch the Bill-Monica fiasco. You’re watching the nation’s most prominent gay mayor – Sam Adams of Portland, Ore. – sweating in the spotlight after he copped to romancing an 18-year-old intern and then lying about the relationship before his election last November.

Adams, 45, last month publicly acknowledged that as a city commissioner he grew interested in Beau Breedlove, then 17, and had sex with him after he turned 18, the legal age of consent in Oregon. Adams has admitted lying about the relationship in 2007 as he was considering a run for mayor and asking Breedlove to lie about it, too.

The state’s attorney general is investigating to see if a crime was committed, namely third-degree sex abuse. What, you say? Well, twinkie Breedlove admitted that they kissed at least twice while he was 17, including a “lingering” smooch in a City Hall bathroom (I was ready to guess near the lockers after algebra class).

All this mess has made me wonder if Adams (and by extension Breedlove) will be treated differently because he’s gay. I suspect so.

Because sexuality is our most defining trait, fair or unfair, in the public mind, matters involving sex then take a disproportionately larger role in people’s perception of us. So some people wanting to bury Adams are motivated in part by their disapproval and disgust of homosexuality and gay sex.

Too much of a leap? Critics, including reporters, bloggers, officials and local residents, have already taken to calling Adams a "predator" and a "pedophile." It’s worth noting many of these criticisms came when all intimacy between the two was thought to occur after Breedlove’s 18th birthday – when both were consenting adults in the eyes of the law.

It would be one thing if these criticisms emphasized the unequal balance of power in this relationship, which I think is a key point of concern. When someone is technically your boss, are the boundaries completely set? Can you really go to 100% professional mode from 9-5, and freakydink mode at night, and no issues of control and power ever come into play? I doubt it. That was a legitimate issue with Clinton, Leader of the Free World, and Lewinsky, flirtatious Valley girl.

The bigger problem is that Adams lied about it and asked his former lover to lie. If he did nothing wrong in his mind, why cover it up? And there is the age difference. Breedlove claimed that he knew the full ramifications of what he was doing even when he first met his “mentor” Adams – more than twice his age – before the hanky-panky. Yeah, I thought I knew everything when I was 17 and 18, too.

But most of the current flack really comes from the idea of Adams as chicken hawk swooping down on boy Breedlove. The “pedophile” tag comes out of hoary stereotypes linking homosexuality with child abuse.

Unless this investigation does determine laws were broken, I don’t think Adams should lose his job, just like I didn’t think Clinton should have lost his. That’s not to say Adams did nothing wrong. He behaved inappropriately in his capacity as a local lawmaker. If he had a hankering for barely legal things, he could have gone to Portland’s version of Apex on Thursday nights instead of City Hall. Just like Clinton shouldn’t have been blown in the Oval Office while waiting for Yasser Arafat’s phone call.

But it’s not quite the same, is it? It’s hard to assume if Breedlove were female that Adams would be seen as a threat to all impressionable young women, like he’s seen as now with impressionable young men. Clinton, and other straight politicians (think John Edwards, David Vitter) caught up in sex scandals, are rascally and tacky skirt chasers. Gay politicians, or those caught up in a gay scandal (think Larry Craig), have a deeper shadow cast on them. They become “sick,” “disgusting” or “predatory.” There's an exaggerated sense of shock and titillation perpetuated by the media.

Maybe that’s why Adams lied. He knows there are different standards and perceptions. And once the haze of romance cleared and the reporters started sniffing around because of the affair rumors, he knew he’d be dead meat if he was honest. Unfortunately for Adams, that may happen anyway.