The Young and the Fearless

I didn’t go to last Saturday’s Youth Pride Day celebration at P Street Beach to join in the celebration, although I thought fleetingly about going by.

No, I’m not twinkie hunting, especially as I’m partnered. Rather, I liked the idea of seeing happy LGBT teens and young adults, already and fearlessly out and proud. I admit I’m a little jealous.
I always envied friends and exes of mine who came out early, particularly in their teens. Sure, the merciless high school caste system is hell for almost everybody who doesn’t fit into the designated norm. But I always felt like they got their “real lives” started a lot sooner.

They quickly learned who among their friends and family was a true supporter. They had open dating lives sooner and no double lives (at least as an adult). They freely participated in social or political activities in high school, college, or beyond. Crucially, their sexuality, accepted and embraced, becomes integrated in the development of their adult selves – character, personality, dreams, and goals. They don’t have to begin again, as it were.

But, with most things, there is a shadow that covers some of the brightness. Over the past couple of weeks, two kids, who never even identified as gay, killed themselves because of anti-gay bullying. Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover, an 11-year-old sixth-grader from Springfield, Mass., hanged himself with an extension cord in his family's home after being subjected to continuous anti-gay harassment at his middle school. Less than two weeks later, Jaheem Herrera, an 11-year-old fifth-grader from DeKalb County, Ga., also hanged himself at home after being the subject of anti-gay taunts from classmates.

Lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning youth are up to four times more likely to attempt suicide than their heterosexual peers, and those who come from a rejecting family are up to nine times more likely to do so. Two of the top three reasons secondary school students said their peers were most often bullied at school were actual or perceived sexual orientation and gender expression, according to a 2005 report by GLSEN and Harris Interactive.

In the same report, more than a third of middle and high school students said that bullying, name-calling and harassment is a somewhat or very serious problem at their school. Furthermore, two-thirds of middle school students reported being assaulted or harassed in the previous year and only 41 percent said they felt safe at school.

In addition, The Trevor Project fields tens of thousands of calls from young people each year, both straight and LGBT-identified, with rejection and harassment by peers being one of the top five issues reported by callers.

The flip side of youth embracing their true nature is that there are others who are ready to quash it. My fear is that teens who are emboldened to be true to themselves become fewer in number because they may see their well-being – and very lives – are at stake. I wonder if conservative political activist Alan Keyes’ daughter Maya ever thought her father would literally throw her out on the street and cut her off financially because she was a lesbian. But he did. Luckily, she rebounded with outside financial help and attended college, ready for the world professionally and personally.

But it’s disturbing to have such a wicked dichotomy of a more modern time when gays are more accepted but homophobia, and its violent offspring, is still steady. What’s more, plenty of families still soundly reject or disown gay members.

What I hope are those young adults still find the strength to be who they are and find the support they need. Youth Pride Day is making a bold statement just in the fact that being part of the LGBT community is reason to celebrate. Now we need to work on ensuring the bright future they are positive about comes into being.