Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Married to the Idea

Geez, my mourning over the Prop. 8 debacle had barely subsided when, all of the sudden, gay marriage opportunities seem to be popping up over the place. Like just this past week.

I know President Obama ushered in change but April is proving to be a watershed for us at a ridiculous speed. First, the Iowa Supreme Court approved gay marriage. Then on Tuesday, Vermont's lawmakers defied Governor Jim Douglas with a veto override, making their state the nation's first to establish gay marriage by a vote rather than by judicial decree. That same day here in Washington, D.C., the city council chose to give legal recognition to gay and lesbian residents who have been married elsewhere, similar to New York state’s current policy.

All of that news was good to hear and I smiled at each development I heard. Being a DC resident, it felt like marriage rights were within grasp. But I have a bucket of lukewarm water to throw. On a federal level, we’re still behind and may never catch up in our lifetime.

Let’s not forget about the 1996 Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), the federal law that makes it illegal for the U.S. government — as opposed to individual states — to recognize gay couples as married regardless of the marriage or civil union laws of a particular state. Even talk of federally recognized civil unions is meaningless until DOMA is repealed, since the act also prohibits the appearance of marriage, no matter what the relationship is called.

Remember, even in Massachusetts, we can't enjoy the tax benefits that straight couples do. For example, when one half of a gay couple who live together and co-own their house dies, the survivor still has to pay an inheritance tax. Spouses of gay federal employees cannot be covered by government health plans.

And federal immigration laws can still force couples apart with deportation regardless of marital or civil union status I just read an article in the San Francisco Chronicle about a lesbian couple – registered as domestic partner for 23 years - with twin 12-year-olds. But one of them, who is not a U.S. citizen, will have to be deported to the Philippines in a couple of weeks. Can you imagine a situation of being plucked from your partner and family suddenly and being deposited in another continent?

But that’s the rub, and that’s why these recent marital victories are short-lived when you put them under the glare of the big picture. It’s like getting 65% of your rights.

Considering that Obama and many members of Congress have pledged support for civil unions as an alternative to gay marriage, it’s difficult to imagine who would champion gay marriage as at the federal level. And let’s not forget many federal judges, including a few Supreme Court justices, are conservatives put into power by President Bush. A national gay marriage victory is very unlikely if a case goes to the higher courts.

So while we may have won a few battles, we are hardly winning the war. It will take a long time for truly full and equal rights, I suspect. Perhaps I should be more joyful about celebrating what we have earned. Some prominent evangelicals interviewed concede they feel the ground shifting beneath their feet. Could we truly be reaching a new era?

This is an instance to where I hope I’m proved wrong and it all will be in our grasp. Cool. I can have fun imagining being registered at Bed, bath & Beyond.